I’m Holly.

Oh hey,

Some of my personal story that led to this work:

I realized towards the end of college that I was struggling with an eating disorder; that my constant and compulsive thoughts and behaviors with food and weight weren’t just “normal teenage body image struggles.” They were a symptom of the deeper wounds I was unknowingly carrying; an internalized series of trauma strategies and belief systems rooted in an early attachment wound that left me feeling like it’s much safer to become what others needed me to be than it is to be myself, take up space, or have needs, opinions and feelings. This wounding had me unconsciously moving through life in ways that pleased others, but left my own needs unmet and my feelings unfelt.
I became a sort of hollow shell– able to perform life, but not actually feel alive or embodied inside of it.

I became very good at distracting from the pain of this wound by channeling my energy into work, romantic relationships, and a whole lot of “doing” in an unconscious effort to keep busy and not feel. I tried to earn a sense of worthiness and love through pursuing “success” and prioritizing productivity. I became what I perceived I needed to be in order to belong, often chameleon-ing myself to meet the expectations of those around me. This was all happening unconsciously of course, and honestly for a while it worked just fine. I was easily able to get things done, impress others and charm my way through life. Until one day I realized just how very tired I was– I running through life on the fumes of my anxiety, trying to find a sense of self-worth through work and being “perfect” and accommodating others. And at the end of the day the dense stagnancy of years-old pain was still there under the surface, waiting to be met and tended to. I found myself out of integrity with my values, low on capacity to actually be present to my reality and my responsibilities, and feeling empty inside even though on paper everything in my life looked “right.”

I realized all of that was no longer sustainable and something had to give; if I wanted to feel good I needed support, and to actually be with the young, wounded parts of me that were desperately calling for my attention (through out-of-integrity behavior patterns, anxiety, depression, physical tension, headaches, dreams and inner conflict).

Deciding to commit to healing these wounds kicked off a 10 year (and counting) journey of unraveling the stories and pain of those younger parts of me that were stuck in loops of low self worth, shame, people pleasing, perfectionism and numbing. This unraveling has happened over many years with the support of many modalities and people along the way. But the most impactful, lasting work I have done has been with my own somatic practitioner (who I still see today!)

I do this work because it’s what I needed in order to find myself. It’s what supported me to heal those very young, very tender parts of me that had been locked away in pain for so long. Somatic work taught me how to come home to my body, be with my pain so that it could soften and dissolve, and support myself in doable, impactful ways. This is the work that helped me feel alive again, present to all of reality with the capacity to live well inside of it. And that’s exactly what I aim to bring to every client I work with.